Just MElbourne

Just MElbourne

Today is day 2 in Melbourne. Just ME. No friends, no contacts, no dates, just me. Melbourne welcomed me with some rain, but the next morning blue sky and a dry, fresh day. Riding to St. Kilda and down the beach road, beautiful views and loads of cyclists around, due to Labor Day. Nice riding, different because a lonely ride in a long time; went for a coffee with 2 cyclists, short chat and back to the hotel.

I spent the afternoon walking around in Chapel Street, shopping street in South Yarra. Those of you who know me know that I haven’t bought anything. I love fashion. I love looking around, but especially at the moment there is no need to buy anything. First of all I have to carry it on my very own back. And I’m not here for shopping. What I’m looking for is different things; I guess I’m just looking for myself.

After the No Shopping I walked over to Albert Park, where I bumped in at the end of my morning ride already, finding myself in the middle of the F1 course, taking some pics and remembering my failed career as an inline skater, when I cracked my head on the Hockenheimring…

I walked all along the lake in the park, taking some more pictures and smiling because of the fabulous day.

7 Dollars later I completed my training day with a swim in the Melbourne sports and aquatic centre walked back to the hotel and finished the day with lasagna and soda water.

Today another friendly one, another ride, less bikes and more cars on the road, but they are really respectful in this city so no problem at all. Later running on the Tan, a 4km running track around the botanic gardens of Melbourne. I think I am the slowest runner in Australia. Man that’s hard, I’m afraid I get last in Sydney Triathlon in April, comparing myself with the level I see around here. Nice bike but no legs ;)

I decided this afternoon that it was time for some culture this afternoon, as I’m a bit afraid to stay in fabulous Melbourne without seeing anything of the city but cycling roads, running tracks and pools… and there’s a spark of hope to meet some nice people and have a leisure chat and some laughs.

I walked by the shrine of remembrance, memory of people from Victoria who lost their life in the 2^nd world war.

Next station: federation square. I’ve read that it was big but not as big! And it’s L’oreal Melbourne Fashion Festival and I joined an open air fashion show, a mixture between fashion and ballet, interesting and beautiful.

Just next door, the Australian Centre for the moving image, where I visited the screen rooms, a perfect journey through the history of television and computer world and some really funny gadgets, like a room to imitate the typical Matrix movements with the 36cameras around. I still have not received the one I made; they’re supposed to send a link by mail. And games like tetris and lemmings... long time ago!

During the whole afternoon I spent time observing people around me and I couldn’t stop thinking: what or who defines who you are? When I’m around during training I’m a triathlete. People look at you and see at least that you’re doing sports. On the bike especially it’s even easier. There is the obvious topic to talk about, the bike, the cycling, competitions etc. During the run and the swim it’s not that clear yet and a bit more complicated to start conversation, when you do a casual swim (not a squad, in a squad you are again in a group who does the same thing, so you do have something in common). The people who have crossed my way on the bike and who I was talking with start with the bike theme. After that and the where are you from, the common question is the work question. One thing that seems to define you, that tells your opposite if you are interesting. Here it is. I don’t have a job at the moment. I can talk about my former job, but is it something that defines me? A job I quit because it bored me? I have to say that 6 years in Spain are part of me. I realized that my answer to the question where I am from is Germany and a “but”: I lived in Spain for the last 6 years.

Going on with the self definition: I left the country where I was living and I’m still not part of the country where I’m about to live again. I don’t have a job and don’t identify myself with the one I had before. I am on my own in a big city. No friends you could hide behind. My friends are spread all over the world.  

And then it punched me in my face: I’m alone. No one around. But that’s something I was looking for. I came here to visit friends, to know new people and a fascinating country. But I also came here to live this kind of lonely happiness and sadness and feelings I haven’t had before, or these who were embed in a daily routine and covered by too many things to do. Observing all the people around me today I noticed that everybody was waiting for someone. Distracting their self’s message typing, newspaper reading, calling... I’ve seen nobody just sitting there. Like me. I was nobody, sitting on the federation square in Melbourne. Surrounded by other nobodies who became somebody just in the second their friend showed up. Faces change when people are alone to when they meet somebody. Mine was sad today. I was aware of it.

When I went home, I knew that my eyes were sad. No sparkles, no smile. I arrived at the hotel with my take away sushi and a blog to write in my mind, had dinner in my room and started typing.

And then I got a text message that lets me know that there is someone around who cares, even if I don’t expect it. And there it was again: the smile on my face J