Never enough...

Between my last post and today are 6 weeks, 1 travel, 1 triathlon, 1 10k competition and many doubts. I’m having problems to find motivation, even though I’m training, because I know, if I don’t, I’m feeling worse… I was about to write about Ican Marbella, a race I was so much looking forward to, was so excited and nervous to race back home with all my friends around and it hit me in an unexpected way. I got so cold in the swim that I didn’t get to race that race until almost T2. Then I had a great half marathon, feeling strong and personal best but I don’t know why, but my proud cloud that normally involves me after a race and stays with me for at least a couple of days, was missing.

I had many other clouds obscuring my day a day, training without focus, looking for excuses why not to go, bad weather, a lot of stuff on the work schedule.

Last week I had yet another test of 5k which I made in a township where I was due to my job, I could cut off 8sec/km respect to the last test and on Monday I raced a 10k run in a village close to here. The average pace was the same as in my 5k test and I won. But something’s still missing: My proud cloud. At least I had found my tiger for that one, but no pride, no happy days after.

The question is: what do I have to achieve to get back into my proud cloud? I think it’s not what I have to achieve, but the way to look at it. I know perfectly what I want and I’m working for it. And if I get it: will it be enough?

Probably today I made one step towards the joy of training. Well, this morning, first swim in the open water pool, too cold, wetsuit on, but not focused. I was about to meet a group of boys to cycle with at 2pm, half an hour before I heard something I’m not used to: my door bell, they where there, to go out for a 3h ride. Only 10min into the ride it started to rain really badly, so we turned into a gas station, had coffee and a chat and went out again, without rain. Good pace, all flat, windy but at least a ride I came home from with tired legs and with the feeling that I’d done well. It took us 4,5h to ride 3, but we did it and I recognized my riding self today and got to know some new roads and a loop I really like!

I’m missing the long rides with Marbella’s Elite ;) But today I can say: there is some nice cycling company over here to ride with. Unfortunately it takes time to make friends, but last week I’ve seen some new things that are telling me: you’re on the right way. And I hope this way wears the sign: motivation!

And between dark clouds and sunny weather sometimes you find something really nice to walk on...